You Are a Leader. NOT just a Coach.

What Coaching Youth Lacrosse (and Ted Lasso) Taught Me About Leadership

I coach youth lacrosse.

I’ve never played it, I don’t know all the rules, and I’m floating just above terrible when it comes to tactics and strategy.

Which, oddly enough, might be the best set of qualifications I have for coaching youths.

When people first hear that, they usually assume it’s a problem. After all, shouldn’t a coach know the sport inside and out? Shouldn’t they be one of the most technically capable person on the field?

Of course, technical knowledge matters. Players need to learn how to pass, shoot, defend, and understand the game.

But here’s the problem: in youth sports, we often treat technical competence as the most important qualification for coaching.

It’s usually the only qualification.

And that’s where we get it wrong.

Because the moment you step into the role of coach, something changes.

You’re not just teaching a sport anymore.

You’re shaping confidence.
You’re shaping resilience.
You’re shaping how young people experience success, failure, and teamwork.

Which means something important has happened.

You are a leader. NOT a coach.

The Leadership Problem in Youth Sports

Youth sports often select coaches the same way organizations select managers.

We pick the person who can show they have the technical experience. The one who knows the X’s and O’s. The one who played the sport, perhaps even looking at the level they played it.

But knowing the game doesn’t mean you know how to lead people. In fact it has absolutely nothing to do with it.

I’ve seen coaches who were great players create environments where kids feel nervous, intimidated, or afraid to make mistakes.

The point of youth sports isn’t winning the league.

It’s creating an experience so positive that kids want to come back next year. It’s giving them an experience that shapes their confidence for the rest of their lives.

And ironically, if you do those things well, you might actually have a better shot at winning too.

Because when a young athlete quits a sport because the environment isn’t safe, that’s not a sports problem.

That’s a leadership problem.

Before the X’s and O’s

Don’t get me wrong.

Technical coaching absolutely matters. Youths and kids should learn the game. They should improve. They should develop their skills.

But the mistake we make — in sports and in leadership — is going straight to the technical side.

Strategy.
Drills.
Tactics.
Plays.

We skip the most important step:

The environment.

In leadership, I often say that character is the bridge that allows technical competence to matter.

Without trust, connection, and psychological safety, technical expertise doesn’t land.

The same thing happens on a sports team.

If players feel judged or afraid of making mistakes, they stop trying new things. If they don’t feel like they belong, because they’re not the top goal scorer or most skillful player, they stop trying new things. If they don’t feel accepted for who they are and their level of play, they stop trying new things. And when they stop trying new things, they stop learning.

And if they stop learning, the X’s and O’s don’t matter anymore.

You can’t coach performance in an environment where players are afraid to perform.

And here’s the important part: the coach doesn’t have to be the source of all the technical knowledge.

In organizations, leaders aren’t expected to be the best engineer, the best nurse, the best marketer, and the best accountant. They surround themselves with people who have those skills. Because their role is to be a leader.

The same thing can happen in sports.

You can have assistant coaches who know the technical side better than you do. You can invite specialists to run clinics. You can create opportunities for experienced players to teach others.

That’s not weakness.

That’s leadership.

Because the coach’s real job is creating the environment where all of that expertise can actually land. The coaches real job is to be a leader.

The Ted Lasso Principle

If you’ve watched Ted Lasso, you’ll understand what I mean.

Ted Lasso is hired to coach a professional soccer team despite knowing almost nothing about soccer.

Everyone assumes he’ll fail.

But what Ted understands — long before the tactics and strategy — is the importance of the environment.

As he says in the show:

“For me, success isn’t about the wins and losses.”

His focus is on the players. Their confidence. Their growth. Their trust in one another.

And ironically, once that environment exists, the performance improves too.

Because people perform best when they feel safe enough to try.

My Job as a Coach

I may never understand every rule of lacrosse.

I may never design the perfect play.

But I do know what my job is.

Create an environment where kids and youth feel safe enough to try.

Safe enough to make mistakes.

Safe enough to support each other.

And safe enough to come back next year.

Because the moment you step into the role of coach…

You are no longer just a coach.

You are a leader.