HOW TO AVOID BEING A MICROMANAGER: You exist for them. they don’t exist for you.
It was a cold January morning at Sandhurst in 2005 when I first heard the words that would shape my entire view of leadership. My instructor looked me in the eye and said,
“Mr. Jewell, the only reason you exist is to potentially have the privilege of leading soldiers one day. You exist for them. They do not exist for you.”
At the time, I didn’t fully understand. But after leading teams in Afghanistan, working in government, teaching students, and raising kids, I’ve learned those words hold the single most important truth about leadership.
Leadership Isn’t About You
It’s easy for leaders to fall into the trap of believing the team is there to serve us. We want to feel important. Needed. Central.
But when we make ourselves the centre of every decision, two things happen:
We burn out.
Our teams become weaker, not stronger.
I’ve seen it in combat zones and corporate offices alike. The more we insert ourselves, the more dependent our teams become. And the moment we step away, the whole system starts to wobble.
The Paradox: Irrelevant Leadership
Here’s the paradox: the less your team needs you, the stronger your leadership actually is.
Great leaders don’t measure success by how involved they are. They measure it by how well their teams perform without them.
That’s why I talk about being an Irrelevant Leader. About making yourself operationally irrelevant, so your team can thrive independently.
Does that sting the ego? Of course. The first time I realized my team was operating better without me, it hurt. But that’s the goal.
When your team is strong enough to succeed without you, you’re free to focus on strategy, vision, and growth.
Why It Matters Now
Today’s leaders are pulled in every direction—strategy, day-to-day operations, always “on.” If we buy into the myth that leadership is about being the hardest worker or the hero, we burn out and drag our teams with us.
But when we lead for our teams, not for ourselves, everything shifts:
We stop being bottlenecks and start being multipliers.
We stop feeding our egos and start building trust.
We build teams that last.
A Simple Question for Every Leader
If you want to know how effective you are as a leader, ask yourself:
“How well can my team move forward if I’m not there?”
If the answer makes you uneasy, you’re not alone. Letting go is uncomfortable. But it’s the only way to build a team that doesn’t need a hero… just a leader who trusts them to lead.
Because in the end, leadership isn’t about you. It’s about building a team that doesn’t need you.
Thanks for reading,
Phil